Hello! Dr. Smith’s office?
– No sir it’s Dr. Google.
So it’s a wrong number?
– No sir, Google bought it.
OK. Can I make an appointment, please ..
– Well sir, you’re calling because you snore, wake up often and feel tired all day?
How do you know that? Do you know me?
– According to our caller ID, we see you recently searched the internet for “snoring”, “daytime sleepiness” and “nocturnal bruxism”
OK,I did that.
– May I suggest to you that we give you a Home Sleep Test?
– No, I don’t need that
– But your blood oxygen saturation is not good
How do you know?
– Through the subscribers’ guide. We have the result of your blood tests for the last 7 years
– Okay, but I do not want this test,  I already have a CPAP
– You do not use it regularly, 7 months ago, you only purchased cleaning kits at Drugsale Network
– I bought more from another source
– It’s not showing on your credit card
– I paid in cash
– But you did not withdraw that much cash according to your bank statement
– I have other source of cash
– This is not showing in your last Tax form unless you got it from undeclared income source
-WHAT THE HELL? Enough! I’m sick of Google, Facebook, twitter, WhatsApp. I’m going to an Island without internet,where there is no cell phone line and no one to spy on me
– I understand sir, but you need to renew your passport as it has expired 5 weeks ago..
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